A Fitting Cannes Farewell: La Maema Plage Restaurant

Photo Credit: Esther Sokolow

In this largely reflective interim between School and Work, I have become rampantly prone to indulgent woolgathering anent fond study abroad times flown past. Thus explained my pesky tendency to pore over photos, somehow immune to hoary status despite multiple viewings. I never imagined that I would form such a solid friend base after a mere 4 months of communal dorm living; many of these ravishing, intelligent people are sure to remain catercousins for life.

Naturally, our final group-sponsored dinner at La Maema Plage Restaurant in Cannes saluted the conclusion of a whirlwind semester abroad, a metaphorical YAWP to the high heavens as we forked off to our respective paths. Bittersweet? Oui, how tritely so!

Photo Credit: Jessica Weir

La Maema Plage counts itself as one of many chichi private beaches familiar to those living the cannoise ideals of uber-luxury and decadence. Which is to say, none of our (student) party could claim any connection!

Because our generation has become digitally dependent, we wasted no time in beginning the photographic rituals at the restaurant’s backdoor beach patio.

I brought the face.

Appe-teaser besides bread, h’okay! Almost all table-side either found olives repugnant or harbored unfounded fears of the fatty green morsels. Translation: I was granted free access to practically ever last silky olive oil-and-herb-drenched olive, clearly not a situation conducive to moderate eating. Let’s just say I kept up my side of the, ahem, unspoken agreement.

Dining oceanside whilst consuming alcohol! And we can put the hobo associations away as there were no brown bags on the premises.

Photo Credit (last 4): Esther Sokolow. She sure is one heck of a photo-dynamo!

While French chefs rarely dazzle me incoherent with unique plant-based culinary creations, I’ll settle for simple fare artfully-done; what foodie can snub their nose at a dish which glorifies whole foods in their purest flavors? Raw veggies, I see ya there.

This plate des crudités satisfied my inner bunny as I chomp-chomp-chomped away on an array of impecably fresh and crisp vegetables all lined up trig and proper. The accompanying magic sauce (that I fear was mayo-based) is not pictured, but friends can attest I ate truckloads of the stuff.

I cannot feign that this risotto deserves hyperbole of elephantine proportions (far from it), but it was a satisfactory vegan non-pasta entreée in a town in which such a thing has virtually gone the way of the dodo: flightless and shrouded in myth.

Dessert echoed the rest of the meal’s inherent simplicity: pucker-sweet strawberries with a hint of sugar syrup. You’ve tasted strawberries before? So you can remember.

Roundabouts now, the good times effortlessly rolled as I surrendered myself to the vivacious social music of the night.

Strawberries to match my freshly-dyed red hairs. It isn’t cake, but that’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Photo Credit (last 4): Esther Sokolow

In aesopian fashion, this critique solidifies a moral cachée: when in Cannes, get your tushie over to La Maema Plage! They will most likely need advance notice of your vegan needs, but plenteous good eats are to be had. Bring along some dear friends and I just dare you not to indulge in bacchanalia and merriment.

La Maema Plage Restaurant

Boulevard Jean Hibert, 06400 Cannes

Oh Bio! Crêpes

Oh Bio! I love that the moniker of this lovely little* restaurant–which I reviewed for its pastries once before here–can dually serve as an exclamatory greeting or a coddling remark of affection. And oh, what saccharine fondness I have for any place of business that provides authentic vegan crêpes and pastries in such a city bloated by the dairy-filled variety. It wasn’t what you’d call a hard lunch sell to my two friends Rachel and Lizzy.

After a few tensely awkward moments of Oh Bio!’s cashier directly staring at our party (“Je t’attends“) as we pensively mulled over ensuing food choices, we nervously placed our orders and retreated to the cramped upstairs dining area to wait for aforementioned edibles. And, naturally, to communally gripe about the rude cashier; we did have a duty to represent our heritage as Loud Obnoxious Americans to international admirers, after all.

My friend Rachel (remember her?) ordered this curried buckwheat crêpe with asparagii and other veggies; apologies, as I have very little descriptive prose to offer as I myself never tasted a forkful. I was originally given this by our server and was a not-remotely-tiny bit sad to have the plate mishap remedied a few moments later. That’s saying something, I gander.

Although my goulash crêpe is now suffering from a ever-growing inferiority complex, I’m here for damage control: the crêpe was perfectly… copacetic. Don’t sniff out a false aroma of paralipsis here; I truly savored every bite of tofu and veggies swimming in an erubescent mystery sauce with gusto. Hungarian food is alluring in the same sexist way in which foreign women ooze attractiveness to locals: a brazen exoticism and mystery. Satisfactory eating, all around.

Oh Bio! is a stone’s throw away from the Pompidou; however, if you claim a proclivity towards hurling damaging object in the holiest of all modern art museums (for mere carnal gratification), I must henceforth request you unsubscribe from my feed. Clichés, man! Who knew the extent of their dangers to society?

I shan’t conclude on quasi-threats: Oh Bio! also has a clusterfuck of vegan pastries that are sure to bring forth a trite “kid in a candy store” type of reaction. Come now: if crêpes aren’t part of your particular demographic’s selling points, surely vegan chocolate éclairs must have some level of sway?

*”Minuscule” was my honest word choice, but the adjective “little” drapes such a pesky truth in a quaint light, wouldn’t you concur?

Oh Bio!

58 Rue Rambuteau

75003 Paris, Metro: Rambuteau