Just a quick word-vomit today as I’m soon off to fluff a few chickens’ feathers and rub lazy, cantankerous pigs’ hairy bellies; that’s right, I am one enthusiastic ticket holder to Animal Place’s Music in the Meadows and you best believe I’m as agog to attend this fine festivity as I was to… hasty segue please… Doughbot Donuts‘ Grand Opening! This new Sacramentan gourmet doughnut shop (akin to Voodoo Doughnuts) is heading off local restaurant buzz with recent (compliment-laden) articles appearing in Midtown Monthly and The Sacramento Bee among others.
[Update: I didn't finish this post in time, but we have triumphantly returned! Animals mooed! I cooed. Exclamatory prating and melt-ya-vegan-heart goat pics for an inevitably put-off post.]
Tragically our first attempt to visit said establishment was met with a cold trickle of dread as we drove past Doughbot’s “SOLD OUT” sign in Voldemort’s own scrawl; I shed free-flowing doughnut tears that unfortuitous morn’. However, the re-do Grand Opening (a.k.a the next butt-crack of dawn) proved far more efficacious as we procured an entire boxful of vegan maple and apple fritter doughnuts as well as doughnut hole samples: exultant sugar-coma victory.
How can one resist such a sexy killing (< technical term) of pastries? The obvious response being NO, NEVER, OPTION IS INVALID.
The contemptuous monster in me wants to innocently place a box of these affixed with a sign “For Vegans Only” in a random office break room and heartily engage in vicious schadenfreude. Let omnivores suffer that deep psychological/gustatory torture of inhaling the sweet smell of fried pastry without release by doughnut mastication. Just let them.
I clearly harbor some unhealthy spite towards years of uneatable (and tantalizingly gratis) “normal” donuts teasing me to utter madness. You hit me with the smell of deliciousness embodied and then I’m not allowed to sever the smell’s source with my molars? Be warned that the Emily claws are a’comin’.
These animal-friendly doughnuts had that same infatuating smell and allowed for some orgasmic doughnut catharsis. While the apple fritter was not exactly how I remembered those of my early days, I’d eat two or three more if you put them within chomping distance. The maple doughnut duly deserved a sonnet written in its honor.
Doughbot wants you to check them out Wednesdays-Mondays 5 am- noon! But only in the non-sexist, ogling-free form.
Join me as I stalk their Facebook page for the day’s flavors offerings and other alerts. Recent vegan offerings have included Chai, Glazed, Vanilla Bean, Maple “Bacon,” Coconut Maple, Pink Lemonade, The Dude (modeled after El Duderino’s famous White Russian!), PB&J, and countless more. As I contemplate that list I’m struck with the inevitable realization that I am an inestimable dodo head for visiting this magical place no more than once. Don’t repeat my cheapskate mistake!
2226 10th Street
Sacramento CA 95818