Oh Bio! I love that the moniker of this lovely little* restaurant–which I reviewed for its pastries once before here–can dually serve as an exclamatory greeting or a coddling remark of affection. And oh, what saccharine fondness I have for any place of business that provides authentic vegan crêpes and pastries in such a city bloated by the dairy-filled variety. It wasn’t what you’d call a hard lunch sell to my two friends Rachel and Lizzy.
After a few tensely awkward moments of Oh Bio!’s cashier directly staring at our party (“Je t’attends“) as we pensively mulled over ensuing food choices, we nervously placed our orders and retreated to the cramped upstairs dining area to wait for aforementioned edibles. And, naturally, to communally gripe about the rude cashier; we did have a duty to represent our heritage as Loud Obnoxious Americans to international admirers, after all.
My friend Rachel (remember her?) ordered this curried buckwheat crêpe with asparagii and other veggies; apologies, as I have very little descriptive prose to offer as I myself never tasted a forkful. I was originally given this by our server and was a not-remotely-tiny bit sad to have the plate mishap remedied a few moments later. That’s saying something, I gander.
Although my goulash crêpe is now suffering from a ever-growing inferiority complex, I’m here for damage control: the crêpe was perfectly… copacetic. Don’t sniff out a false aroma of paralipsis here; I truly savored every bite of tofu and veggies swimming in an erubescent mystery sauce with gusto. Hungarian food is alluring in the same sexist way in which foreign women ooze attractiveness to locals: a brazen exoticism and mystery. Satisfactory eating, all around.
Oh Bio! is a stone’s throw away from the Pompidou; however, if you claim a proclivity towards hurling damaging object in the holiest of all modern art museums (for mere carnal gratification), I must henceforth request you unsubscribe from my feed. Clichés, man! Who knew the extent of their dangers to society?
I shan’t conclude on quasi-threats: Oh Bio! also has a clusterfuck of vegan pastries that are sure to bring forth a trite “kid in a candy store” type of reaction. Come now: if crêpes aren’t part of your particular demographic’s selling points, surely vegan chocolate éclairs must have some level of sway?
*”Minuscule” was my honest word choice, but the adjective “little” drapes such a pesky truth in a quaint light, wouldn’t you concur?
Oh Bio!
58 Rue Rambuteau
75003 Paris, Metro: Rambuteau
