Gluten-Free Persimmon Waffles

I’m busy getting Dots stuck between my teeth while Gene Wilder cracks boob innuendos (“NICE. KNOCKERS.”) in Young Frankenstein so… I’ll scurry. Today’s appropriately orange fare is one lightly spiced persimmon waffle, made from almond and oat flours out of deference to my xGFx friends. A waffle for persimmon lovers and persimmon ambivalents. A waffle that, to quip my mom, “could use some nuts.”

Consider this a final YAWP from my corner of the internet for MoFo 2012. Thanks for reading or enjoying or commenting or considering any of the three. I admittedly puttered out toward the end (thanks new job), but I plan on continuing to waffle through November.

Halloween, make yours candy-happy!

Takes 20-30 minutes
Makes 3 Belgian waffles

3/4 persimmon puree from 3-4 Fuyu persimmons
3/4 cup almond flour (I used Trader Joe’s brand)
3/4 cup oat flour (I used Bob’s Red Mill brand)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp allspice
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup coconut milk (the drinking kind) or other non-dairy milk
1/4 cup oil
2 T evaporated cane juice or other vegan sugar
3 tsp Ener-G egg replacer*
4 T water*

2. Make your persimmon puree first. Take your roughly chopped persimmons and commence persimmon v. food processor war. You are beating these fruits to a pulp, you culinary bully, you. I pureed 4 persimmons for a good 10-15 minutes, scraping the sides dutifully, until I was left with this virtually chunk-less puree.

Use leftover persimmon puree in oatmeal, smoothies, and cookies; I’ve found it subs well for pumpkin in baked goods.

1. In a large mixing bowl, sift together the flours, spices, and salt thoroughly. In a smaller mixing bowl, whisk or vigorously “fork” together the coconut milk, canola oil, persimmon puree, and sugar. In an even smaller bowl, whisk together the Ener-G egg replacer with the water and mix into the other liquid ingredients. Add wet ingredients to the dry and combine gently.

2. Pour 3/4 to as much as 1 cup batter onto a pre-greased waffle iron. Cook according to your waffle iron’s instructions. I cooked mine a minute longer than my usual 5. Remove gently with a fork as these are ever so fragile! Serve with vegan butter, agave nectar, jam, or whatever you prefer to mingle with your waffles.

*Sub flax seed eggs for the 2 Ener-G eggs if it pleases you.

Kale Garlic Waffles

Like all vegans I weekly stare into my vegetable crisper, willing limp tendrils of kale to cook themselves beyond a monotonous garlic and olive oil sauté. Kale waffles deftly solve such quotidian vegan-world problems.

I fear The Bitter so I only pureed a cup of kale to add nutrition and technicolor without evoking memories of grassy kale-grit smoothies. Know that these verdant pretties pack a garlic wallop: my mother haughtily turned on the fan to rid the kitchen of garlic stench after cleanup. Using one jalapeno I barely detected any spice, so others similarly capsaicin-addicted will want to add up to 3 jalapenos depending on your masochistic tolerance.

Ironically, I still have oodles of kale left. Ideas?

Takes 20-30 minutes
Makes 2 1/2 waffles

1 cup kale, very tightly packed and stems removed
3 cloves garlic
1-3 jalapenos, diced
1 1/2 cups almond milk
1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
2 T coconut oil

1. In a food processor or blender, puree the kale, garlic cloves, jalapeno(s), and 1 cup almond milk until no large chunks remain. A Vitamix or Magic Bullet is ideal to get a completely smooth end product, but I used an ancient food processor and it was still quite tasty.

2. Preheat waffle iron. In a large mixing bowl, sift together all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cumin. In a medium mixing bowl, mix the contents of the food processor (or blender) with the remaining 1/2 cup almond milk and coconut oil. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and mix gently until combined.

3. Pour whole cups of batter onto the waffle iron and cook according to waffle iron’s instructions. Mine took 5 minutes. These pair well with (Veganomicon) cashew ricotta and sliced fresh tomatoes. Siracha and caramelized onions would also be excellent.

Garlic Basil Waffles with Roasted Tomatoes

Waffle MoFo brainstorming is all giggles and no shits. I eyeball a random foodstuff on my kitchen counter while pondering, “Would a stupid person use this to make waffles?” And if so, I do use that thing. Thus the reason I have garlic breath powerful enough to flavor french bread.

Day 4 means it’s time for some savory fare. While I, Emily, will happily eat sweet foods for consecutive lunches as Blogger Most Dutiful, Stomach gets snarky. As the masticated syrup-’n-waffle pulp slides down my gullet, Stomach belches, “‘Da fuck, Esophagus? Not more of that sugar-fucked flour!” Today’s lunch pleased the fictional potty mouth quite handsomely.

At the Davis farmer’s market yestereve, I basil-faced it. Yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like. Nose engulfed in a foliage of aromatic green, I surrendered with a waffle white flag. A waffle founded on the categorical goodness of roasted garlic with accents of peppery basil and olive oil.

Add some roasted cherry tomatoes (last of the season, I eulogize) and you’re practically stewing marinara sauce–garlic, basil, olive oil, tomatoes–here. Would a stupid person eat waffles with a marinara flavor profile? Yes, trumpets this stupid person, yes they would.

Takes 1 1/2 hours
Makes 3 waffles

1 head garlic
4 T olive oil
1 panier cherry tomatoes
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups plus 2 T almond milk
fresh basil: 2 heaping T minced, 2-3 T chiffonade, plus a few leaves reserved for garnish
vegan butter (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 400 °F (200 °C). Peel away the outer layer of the garlic bulb skin, leaving the skins of the individual cloves intact. Using a knife, cut off 1/4 to a 1/2 inch of the top of cloves, exposing the individual cloves of garlic. Drizzle 1 tsp of olive oil over the head, using your fingers to make sure the garlic head is well coated. Wrap in aluminum foil and place in the oven to roast for 40 minutes or until cloves feel soft when pressed.

2. De-stem the cherry tomatoes and place in a shallow baking dish. Drizzle with a teaspoon of olive oil (eyeball it!) over the tomatoes, ensuring even coating with your hands. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cover with foil and place in oven ten minutes after the garlic. Roast for 15-20 minutes or until tomatoes are soft.

3. Preheat waffle iron. In a large mixing bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Popping the cloves of garlic out of their skins, mash well in a medium mixing bowl. You want the garlic pulp as smooth as possible. Add almond milk & 2 T olive oil to the garlic and whisk extremely well. Add wet ingredients to the dry and combine together gently. Fold in the 2 T minced basil.

4. Pour 3/4 cup batter onto the hot griddle and cook until golden; mine took 5 minutes, but cook according to your waffle iron’s instructions. While waffles are cooking, drain the roasted cherry tomatoes and combine gently with the 2-3 T chiffonade basil. Taste for salt & pepper and serve on waffles with a pat of vegan butter.

VWAV Ginger Pear Waffles

Vegan with a Vengeance (by Isa Chandra Moskowitz) is practically my cookbook paramour, which makes these waffles a comforting gustatory embrace. The zing of ginger, the warmth of cinnamon, the delicate touch of pear. As my waffles merrily cook, spices tingle under nose as if to whisper, “Autumn beckons, can you hear it?” to which I bluntly parry, “Not when it’s 97 degrees in Sacramento.”

So make these waffles to welcome an ersatz autumn. Or perhaps where you live, the real thing.

Adapted from Vegan with a Vengeance

Takes 15 minutes
Makes 2 1/2 Belgian waffles

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground or freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 tsp allspice
1/2 cup orange juice
3/8 cup (half of 3/4 cup) almond milk
1/6 cup (half of 1/3 cup) applesauce
1 T canola oil
2 T unrefined sugar
1 T  ginger (1/2-inch nub), very finely minced
1/2 pear, grated

1. Preheat and grease waffle iron. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, spices, and salt in a large mixing bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the juice, almond milk, applesauce, oil, and sugar until well combined. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and slowly blend until combined. Gently fold in minced ginger and grated pear.

2. Pour 3/4 to 1 cup batter onto the griddle and cook according to your waffle iron’s instructions. Mine cooked in 5 minutes.

Norwegian Potato Waffles

I miss Norway. I daydream of a summer spent foraging for chanterelles, slurping nettle soup with nettle-pricked fingers, and barbequing vegetable skewers over a forest-wood fire. While traditional Norwegian cuisine is not largely vegan, my Oslo host and I–united by a passion for healthy, unprocessed food–multiplied our collective culinary savoir-faire rubbing backs in his kitchen. I’ve never eaten so vegan-well in my life.

Thus, riding a fierce wave of nostalgia I researched Norwegian waffles yesternight until I found this easily veganized recipe for potato waffles. I was titillated by the prospect of mashing potatoes into waffles, as I am vehemently pro-potato in all forms. Potatoes rarely do wrong.

Although I garnished mine with fruit, the slightly sour note from the potatoes would pair better with a tangy vegan cheese, sour cream, or butter. A caution to fellow overeaters: these transform into intestinal rocks with sneaking bravado. Alas, the hamartia of scrumptious spud-filled waffles!

Adapted from My Little Norway

Takes 30 minutes
Makes 8 waffles*

500 g potatoes (4-5 russet potatoes)
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 T vegan butter, such as Earth Balance
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 cups unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp salt
1 tsp unrefined sugar

1. Wash and peel the potatoes. Cut potatoes into roughly equal pieces to ensure an even cooking time; I halved my russet potatoes. Fill a large pot with cold water an inch above the potatoes. Boil potatoes until a knife easily pierces a potato.

2. Grease** and preheat waffle iron. Mash the potatoes well and mix in flour, baking powder, and baking soda. Lumps in the batter are normal, but mix as well as possible. Mix in melted vegan butter and milk until smooth. Finally, mix in salt and sugar. Drop heaping 1/2 cups of batter onto the center of griddle, spreading slightly, and cook until golden brown. I cooked mine 6 minutes to a nice crispy brown, a minute longer than my usual 5.

*Because of the mashed potatoes in the batter, I highly recommend cooking all 8 waffles and freezing extras. Simply reheat frozen waffles in a toaster oven for a fast breakfast. Alternatively, halve the recipe to make 4 waffles. 

**Be sure to grease the griddle regularly with a oil soaked paper towel as these waffles contain no oil and thus will stick.

Roasted Carrot Waffles

Happy World Vegan Day, which also signifies the first day of the 2012 Vegan Month of Food. This is my fourth year attempting a tally of 20 posts, this time waffle-themed. Why waffles? As author John Green says, “Waffles are just awesome bread.” And as I say, just try to eat a waffle without smiling. When faced with a waffle, you will smirk at the very least.

Itchy with insomnia last night, a bollix of thoughts split me asunder. And between pining for Scandinavia and lingering anxiety over a possible job offer, the idea of roasted carrot waffles stuck.

Every food blogger’s seen a waffle flecked with raw, grated carrot, but my tepid Googling scavenged no roasted carrot waffles inked in internet. That is, until this morning when I made a mess of my kitchen, sundress, and supplicating dog creating these little flour monsters. They’re decadent and appropriately filling. The subtle sweetness of roasted carrot makes for happy waffle times at breakfast, brunch, or brinner.

And you know what else? I got that job. Waffle on, October, waffle on.

Takes approximately 1 1/2 hours including roasting time.
Serves 3-4.

4 medium carrots or 1 cup roasted carrot puree
1 tsp olive oil
3-4 T unsweetened almond milk or water
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
3-4 T unrefined sugar
1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond milk (or other unsweetened non-dairy milk)
1/4 cup coconut oil (or canola/vegetable oil)
Grated carrot, for garnish

1. Preheat oven to 275 °F (135 °C). Cut carrots in half and halve each section length-wise. Coat in oil and place cut-side down on a baking sheet. Roast for 30-40 minutes, flipping once half-way through. Carrots should be browned and tender when pierced with a fork.

2. In a food processor or Magic Bullet*, puree carrots 3-4 minutes or until no chunks remain. Gradually add the 3-4 tablespoons of almond milk or water for easier blending.

3. Oil and preheat your waffle maker. In a large bowl sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the carrot puree, sugar, and almond milk. If your carrot puree is still chunky (as mine was), blend the mixture again in your food processor or Magic Bullet until smooth. Return to the bowl and whisk in the coconut oil well. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix until combined.

4. Spoon 1/4-1/2 cup batter onto the hot griddle, although this amount will vary based on the size of your waffle iron. Cook according to waffle iron instructions; mine took 5 minutes. Open waffle iron carefully, using a fork to gently pry the waffle off the griddle. Serve hot with Earth Balance, agave nectar, and grated carrot.

*If you use a Magic Bullet, please let your carrots cool 15-2o minutes before blending. Overheating a Bullet is easily done and burnt rubber is a smell uneasily forgotten.

Cheap Meal Ideas: All for Falafel and Falafel for All!

This bear is emerging from blogging hibernation to introduce a guest post from the lovely Carolyn of the Blog Content Guild. I’ll let her dazzle you with her falafel recipe as I lazily retreat back to my cave filled with aromas of cookies baking and tangles of ribbon scrap. A Murray Christmas to all!

Well, it’s that time again: time to make those New Year’s resolutions. And we know just the one we’re going to tackle come 2012. Admittedly, we eat out a lot. Okay, so we like to sample different cuisines, wasting ghastly amounts of money on great food! So sue us! Even so, maybe it’s time to turn over a new leaf and start cookin’ up meals at home. Need some cheap meal ideas? We got just the thing:

Falafel (with all the trimmings)

Anyone who has even had the chance to wander down Rue des Rosiers in Paris has probably enjoyed absolutely magnificent, world-renowned falafel. But going to grab falafel every Sunday may not be the best way to save money. So, why not make it at home? Here’s a great recipe that will help you save a bit of money, while also enjoying a delicious treat.

1 15 oz can of chickpeas
1 onion, diced
1 tbs. garlic, minced
2 tbs. fresh parsley, chopped, 1 tsp coriander
3/4 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tbs. flour
1 cup hummus (You can make this homemade too. All you gotta do is throw some chickpeas, olive oil, and tahini paste in a food processor. Yeah, that simple.)

1. Combine chickpeas, garlic, onion, coriander, cumin, salt, and pepper in a medium bowl. Add flour and combine well. Mash chickpeas and make sure all the ingredients are mixing together. You can also throw all these ingredients (except the hummus) into a food processor. This will create a think paste. Form paste into small balls and flatten a bit. Fry in 2 inches of oil at 350 degrees until golden.

2. Now all you have to do is get some pita, pick up some nondairy mayo, add a little bit of tomato ketchup, and serve with hummus, tomato, cucumber, and cabbage. Eating cheap has never tasted so good.

Fresh Pineapple Banana Bread

You would not believe how difficult it is to find vegan baking recipes that utilizes fresh pineapple; everyone and their mama has this kooky affinity for the canned variety. It’s a travesty that must be remedied in the name of Google, our patron saint of vegan recipes. Thus, my rash decision go off the cuff and create my own unique pineapple bread wonder. Guaranteed success? Pshh overrated.

I originally planned to use pineapple chunks in the recipe but a few too many pulses in the food processor and an absent-minded baker led to smooth puree. It was mostly a happy accident as the puree gives the loaf a nice sweetness and moist texture. I still wanted some crunch though so a buttery oat crumble topping was in order. My expert (hah!) taste buds were overwhelmed by the molasses in the brown sugar so I would suggest reducing the sugar by half to get more of a pineapple flavor. Or cut it all out, you vegan health-balls with your fat-free stevia desserts.

I really want to take this opportunity to declare my undying hatred towards my parents’ oven. I’ve yet to master the art of baking in an oven whose knob has no marked heat indicators. It’s always a scary adventure: turn the dial and hope it’s 375 degrees or you’re screwed. You would think an oven thermometer fixes this problem, but it does not. Not to mention it refuses to hold a constant temperature, effectively desolating many a baked good. I feel so powerless against the devil oven and its heinous schemes to destroy my cooking. If I believed in a satanic force, it would live inside that oven.

But hopefully your pineapple banana bread won’t burn! You lucky duck.

And how many times–and in how many languages–can I express my guilt for the lack of fotografias? Sorry, lo siento, desolee, desculpe, scusa, أسف, piedod (that’s Latvian for ya)! But you’ve all seen banana bread before, right? Trust me, it’s dudn’t look any different.

**EDIT:  Shield your eyeballs: ugly pictures added! It really does taste better than the burnt top implies. Really.

For the loaf:
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
2 large (or 3 smallish) bananas
2 cups fresh pineapple (packed) or a little more than 1 cup pineapple puree
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup apple sauce
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp coconut extract (optional)

For the oat topping:
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
2 T Earth Balance, softened
1 T oil
oil/butter/parchment paper to coat the pan

Preheat oven to 375 °F.

Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt (which I forgot oopsies) into a large mixing bowel. Mash the bananas thoroughly with a potato masher or a large spoon in a medium mixing bowel; you want it basically pureed, but a few lumps are okay. Next, take the fresh pineapple and whiz in a food processor until thoroughly pureed. It should make a little more bit more than 1 cup puree, but just dump it all in! Whisk together banana puree, pineapple puree, oil, apple sauce, sugar, and (if using) extract until incorporated. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix well. Pour into an oiled medium-sized loaf pan.

For the topping, pulse the oats in a food processor 2-4 times depending on the speed of your processor. Be careful because you don’t want oat flour here! After each pulse I checked until it resembled a coarse, crumbled texture; 4 pulses just about did it. Mix together oats, oil and brown sugar in a small bowel. Cut in the room temperature Earth Balance with a knife and mix together with your fingers to create small clumps of oat topping. You don’t want big glops, but just little fragments of oats. Spread the oat crumble on top of the bread mixture.

Bake at 375° for about 45-60 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. Try not and curse at your bastard of an oven because your mom can hear you. Breathe in the sweet perfumes of banana and pineapple and convince yourself all is right in the world. You are now at peace (or close enough).

Wacky Curried Borscht Stew

As I stared into my produce bin, all I could think was: “Beets, there has to be another use for you than in my (world-famous, I’m sure) Two-Grain Beet Salad“  And then a bolt of inspiration struck: I’ll throw them in a pot, add some of my orange babies (carrots, derrr) and see what happens! When added with a very neglected jar of red curry paste taking refuge in the back of my fridge, ambrosial delights happen, that’s the whut whAAAt.

Fun fact: I was on an intense Dexter procrastination sesh a few minutes before I made this weird, blood-red borscht-ish stew. So when a pot of bubbling red guck was staring me in the face, all I could see in my mind’s eye was my future as the Bay Harbor Beet Butcher. And this dish was great for my kitchen, let me tell ya: little bubblets of pink lava are *fantastic*accent points for white walls. Sponge(bob), to the rescue!

Turns out, eyes lie. This is one of my favorite stews yet and I like me a warm bowel of hearty goodness to comfort me in these dark winter days.  It would have been a soup, but I added too much rice until the whole thing went kaput (or in plain speak the rice soaked up all the water). This is a great soup for using up leftovers as I was staring into my fridge with a half-empty–NOT half-full, you optimistic assholes–tupperware of lentils and a week-old batch of sticky rice. Thus, out of humble (almost about to go bad) ingredients a palatable stew was born.

I didn’t measure the amount of rice I used (dump,stir, and taste is my preferred cooking method) so add in slow amounts to see what you like best. If you have a bigger pot, you might want to add another 1-2 cups of water as well. My little IKEA pasta pot can only hold so much.

Splash liberally with lime juice and enjoy this odd Russian/Asian/scrumptious dish. My batch of leftovers is calling my name: “Emiiiiiiilyyyyyyy…..”

Wacky Curried Borscht

olive oil for sautéing (as much or as little as you want)
3 carrots, peeled and chopped
3 medium-sized beets, peeled and chopped
3 cups water
1 T red curry paste
3 T soy sauce
1 T siracha (start with 1 tsp if you dislike the heat)
2 tsp curry powder
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp cumin
salt and cracked black pepper, to taste
¾ cup cooked lentils
½-1 cup cooked rice
1 package firm silken tofu, drained and cubed

Heat olive oil over medium heat and sauté carrots and beets for about 5 minutes or until soft. Add the water and bring to a boil. Add red curry paste, soy sauce, siracha, and spices and stir to incorporate. Taste-test the broth adding more or less spice as necessary. Add lentils, rice, and silken tofu. The silken tofu will crumble and disintegrate and that’s okay, just go with it. Bring the mixture to a boil. Serve hot with lime wedges for a nice pucker.

Makes 4-5 servings

Reci-easy-peasy

Weekend time I can’t be fussed with pictures, recipes, product reviews or other such fluffery. No, ladies and gents, you’re getting a post of words all strung together today, no imagery to distract. I’m just popping in here on this lovely Saturday morning to point out a new addition to MuffinTopped: a brand spankin’ new Recipes page. I’m not delusional in thinking I have the most brilliant repertoire of recipes, but *sniff* they make me feel like a proud blog mother. And they all taste good, no, scratch that: fan-fucking-tastic.

In the mood for salty? How about some Herbed Chickpea Polenta? Soup weather? Hijiki’s got you covered. And not to toot my own horn, but you know chocolate-covered anything is gonna be full of the Awesomez; it’s common sens-ery.

Plus, almost all of them are really easy to screw around with, changing ingredients, measurements, and the like if you’re a rebellious individualist. And I fully support that: “I feel a recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.” (Madame Benoit) That’s bona fide words of wisdom, right thar.

They’re all in chrono-order, in case you were wondering. You weren’t? Too bad. Now go clickety!