I still have cinnamon mouth wisps lingering from one of my last homemade pumpkin cinnamon rolls and writing is cruelly spoiling its last remaining essence. How about laconic photo captions this languid morn’, what say you?
Sun Flower Drive In: boasts a vegan-adaptable vegetarian menu with such wares as nutty tacos, millet burger, falafel, non-dairy burrito, carob milk, vegan potato salad, and other miscellany.
The locally lauded Nutburger, verily Emily-approved. Specify that you execrate animal bits for vegan bun and mayo.
Real-life Angry Bird that road-runnered to our table at the sight of a skimpy lettuce strip dangling from human hand.
Poised and determined to hog any and all food scraps from adjacent, nonchalant rooster. Fair Oaks, home to over 200 wild chickens, oozes the cutesy quaintness.
Hen-tomato union successful!
A top-notch casual fast food drive-in, but lamentably lacking on the “fast” bit.
This laggard blogger is off to finish I Am Legend and cuddle with the resident ball of fur. Toodles!
10344 Fair Oaks Boulevard
Fair Oaks, CA 95628
Ahh! Real life angry birds! RUNNNNN!!
For the love of God: http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm
Does my “pretentious diction” upset you, anon? Oh how verily I must grovel before thee, mine good sir. Oh look at me blather on and on—doest I offend once more?
I’m trying not to take your passive aggression too seriously, but if you are somehow revolted by my phraseology you have every right to simply not read said prose. This is the internet, not your high school reading assignment due Tuesday.
PS: “Foreign words and expressions… are used to give an air of culture and elegance.” Please. As an aspiring polyglot, damn skippy I’m gonna use foreign words. Xenophobia in language is going a bit far, don’t you think?
PSS: Are you some frustrated high school English teacher intent on lecturing everyone that “you shouldn’t use a big word when a short one will do”? I will continue to disregard that rule and argue its blatant attempt to stifle the creativity and newness of modern writing.